My Birthday.
Seeing as how it is my birthday tomorrow I've been thinking a lot about why I dislike my birthday so much. I don't look forward to it at all and in fact I actually kind of dread it. As the day approaches I'm constantly trying to figure out how to get out of it. How can I get past the day without anyone acknowledging that it is my birthday. It's really kind of stupid. I don't even know why I care. I think that part of it is that I don't like being the center of attention. But it's not like anyone makes a huge deal out of it anyway that would draw a lot of attention to me. So it must be more than that. It's definitely not that I'm worried about getting older. I don't think that I've ever had some really bad experience on my birthday that would cause me to not like birthdays so it shouldn't be something like that. So how did I get to this point. How did I go from being a kid who looks forward to her birthday all year and can't wait to an adult who wishes it would disappear? I don't know, but I'm sure that I'll keep trying to figure it out. I like to analyze my life and how I feel about things and respond to them. This is just one more piece to add to the puzzle.
So, after writing that I have to say that I'm actually kind of glad that I am working 12hr nights tonight and tomorrow. I will be sleeping all day tomorrow. When I get up I will have to get ready to go back to work. There won't be much time for anything else. It should be just like a regular day. I might actually enjoy it and it might make me more thankful for work.
posted by Kristy @ 5:14 p.m.
3 comments
3 Comments:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTY. I just wanted to wish you all the best on your special day. Do they give you the day off at work? If not give me the name of the head person there and I will arrange that for you. Have a great day.
Brian
Happy belated birthday Kristy, why do you dislike your birthday so much indeed!? Perhaps because no one does make much of a deal out of it, and as there is a lot going on in your life and head, the happy times of before do not fit any longer, if people did make a big deal out of it, perhaps you would balk away from it before being hurt when no one really seemed to get you as they made a big deal out of it, perhaps it represents a childhood that is no longer in existence, and perhaps never was they way you thought...perhaps you are in grieving over what you have lost, and birthdays as you once enjoyed them represent a dangerous and seemingly false aspect now a days of how life was supposed to be, yet surely isn't. It isn't good, it isn't healthy, it's sad and I hope that you can once again remember that your birthday is to be a celebration of you coming into this world, the fact that God gave you to all of us on that day, October 16th. You who love us, care for us, think with us, emote with us even when we do not in turn to the same for you...You struggle, live, cry, laugh, hide, express, wonder, imagine, fear, courageously face, experience and contine on...always continue on because God made you, he gave you a purpose and he loves you and I love you and Sierra loves you and I want you to know that we care you were born, if you weren't what a story that would be. Kristy, thank you for staying here in this world with us, every year I will celebrate that! I wish and pray for you that you will discover a new joy in regards to your birthday, it is just a day, but God made us for celebrating, loving, expressing and enjoying. Do it! Don't let a notion that perhaps those closest to you and even those of us farther away perhaps don't care so much that you were born. We do. And I think we should all make a bigger deeper event out of birthdays. Stop us from letting Satan convince us to avoid celebrations of us, convincing us its better, more mature, or simply just a natural process to forget how great it is that we have a place in this world.
Love ya!
sara and sierra (and family too)
Now that I've gone on and on, possibly with coherence, possibly not, HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY! You are one year older and probaby, knowing you, wiser. May God bless you this year in ways you'd never imagine.
Wow, Sara. I was so impressed by what you had to say. It brought tears to my eyes and makes me wish I had the wisdom to express it like you did. Kristy is such a blessing to my life (and Erin) that I couldn't imagine a life without her in it. Her big smile that captures everyone's heart that is so Kristy. Her no nonsense way of solving other people's problems that is so Kristy. Her reading of and understanding animals that is so Kristy. I always thought that she left home one or two years too soon. I wasn't finished mothering her yet and maybe that's when the birthday thing started because all of a sudden there was no family to celebrate with. Let's all keep Sara's attitude from now on! Amen!
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